- Relationships don’t make you happy. They add to your happiness but that’s about it. It’s your own responsibility to make yourself happy because happiness is an inside job. Start with yourself. Make your life happy before you bring a partner into it. You can be happy with your person even if you’re going through a rough patch in your relationship—all you need to know is that walking into a relationship doesn’t make your life magically perfect. You have to put in the effort to get to where you want to go.
- The strongest couples spend time apart. Being together all the time isn’t a sign of a healthy relationship. You need to have a balance between being your own person and being in a relationship. Do some things on your own and encourage your partner to do the same.
- You can’t fix people; you can only love them. You can’t make them into someone they’re not or someone they’re not ready to become. Accept them for who they are right now. Don’t fall for their potential then waste your relationship on trying to change them, hoping they’ll be what you’ve imagined them to be. They might be broken, damaged, or lost but they don’t need you to fix them up. They need you to heal them, and you can only do that by loving them for who they are. You can only do that when you love their flaws before their perfections. Love them when they’re weak like you love them when they’re strong.
- Relationships don’t work without a strong basis of friendship. What makes a difference between a friend and a lover is being intimate. If you’re not friends, your relationships won’t last. The stronger your friendship, the stronger your relationship. To build a lasting relationship, you’ll need to be friends and lovers but not necessarily at the same time.
- Relationships die because people get too comfortable. Stay consistent with the effort you put into your relationship. Never stop investing in your partner. Surprise them. Try new things. Go on dates and adventures. Always work on becoming a better partner and a better person. Never stop growing because the moment you stop, your relationship does too.
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