On Wednesday Wisdom, let’s talk about relationships. The first step in forming a friendship is to get people to like you. People like those who are fun to be around. So, even if you’re not feeling up to it, if you want to be liked, you want to come across as warm and enthusiastic (not too enthusiastic – which can be off putting) Oh and being authentic is vital. OK this might sound overwhelming, but lets not panic. Here are the 5 tips. - Ask people questions and be genuinely interested in their responses. People like those who take an interest in them.
- Find key points of connection. First ask questions, and actively listen to what the person says. Show you’re listening by nodding along, validating their words, maintaining eye contact, and keeping an engaged body posture. One of the biggest predictors of relationship satisfaction and stability is similarities. The more similarities you can find and highlight, the better your chances of being liked – but make it authentic – if you don’t like golf, don’t suddenly act like you’re it’s biggest fan – you’ll find genuine similarities when you really listen.
- Express when you like something a person said. You can do this any number of ways. Some people give compliments like, ‘I like your shoes, you have great style!’ while others are more direct, like, ‘You’re funny. I like you!'”
- Use the person’s name. People are egocentric and love to hear their name spoken. The bonus is you also have a better chance of remembering their names when you use it.
- Mirror the posture and mannerisms of the person without being too obvious about it. You don’t want the person to catch on to what you’re doing, but research shows that people like those who parallel their body language and expressions during an interaction. If the person you’re talking to has a concerned expression as they relay a story to you, you want to adopt a concerned look as well. If they are resting their chin on their hand, you can do it, too. Just don’t make it look like you’re playing a game of Simon Says.
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