A beige flag is a slang relationship-related word meaning an odd or quirky characteristic, but one that is not innately good or bad.

“He’ll say, ‘Sure, I’ll do it!’ And then halfway through the activity, he gets distracted and has to be reminded, like, three hours later to complete the task.”

—juliaddavid26 / Buzzfeed

Flags are modern terms that people use to rate “noticeable and more subtle characteristics of a person” explains Allison Fossella, LMHC, LPC, Mental Health Clinical Director of Nice Healthcare. She adds that flags are a tool to help “evaluate a relationship that you have, or may have with someone.”

“[My partner] always asks the table next to us what they ordered.…”

—Kaylon, 25/ Cosmopolitan

What do the different flag colours mean?

Red flags= warning signs. Green flags=relationship positives. Beige flags=almost like the yellow traffic lights of a relationship. Clinical psychologist, Cara Gardenswartz, PhD explains that beige flags “can be character traits” that make for “interesting flavours” in a relationship.

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Much like the yellow traffic lights. They don’t necessarily mean you have to come to a stop, but they make you slow down and consider your options. It all depends who is behind the wheel. “None of them have to imply there’s necessarily a problem. Someone being odd doesn’t mean they’re a bad egg,” explains Gardenswartz.

@zoefried_ I have severe second hand embarrassment #boyfriend #beigeflag #embarassing ♬ Summer Background Jazz – Jazz Background Vibes

Beige flags first came onto the scene in May 2022, when TikTok user @itscaito posted a video using the term. She also claims to have coined it. She also believes beige flags are more common in relationships than red flags.

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The terms has slightly changed in meaning since then. Before, it would mean traits that suggests a potential partner could be ‘boring’…like beige.

Now, people are using it to describe their SO’s silly or strange-yet-endearing qualities.

“My fiancé’s [beige flag] is definitely that he takes multiple baths a day…like two or three.”

—Emma, 27 / Cosmopolitan

Like many things about attraction, what passes as a beige flag is subjective according to Kathryn Smerling, PhD, LSCW, and a New York-based family therapist. Smerling advises that because of this, you should try to hold off on making decisions based on small differences. Especially when getting to know someone. “A beige flag is a process flag,” explains Smerling. “You’re still playing it out to see how you feel.”

“I love my S.O., but she has tendencies to call or FaceTime me while she is in the grocery store or after leaving to show/tell me EVERYTHING she has bought. Then, when I get home from work, she proceeds to do the same thing but in person.”

—Anonymous, 29, TN / Buzzfeed

Sadly, not all beige flags shared online are lighthearted. Some people post about how their partner lies or bullies them. These are red flags. Gardenswartz explains that if someone doesn’t respect you, or makes you feel unsafe, or presents unhealthy behaviours, it is not good. Seek help.

@varzagaa We are the same person so it doesn’t count #beigeflag ♬ Summer Background Jazz – Jazz Background Vibes

The biggest green flag in any relationship is effective communication. This also has the power to turn those beige flags, green.

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And above all else, seek expert help whether to build your relationship or to guide you through reconsidering it.