Love cannot be contained, and it can be felt beyond the confines of nationality, culture or race. Speaking of the latter. Acceptance of interracial relationships is on the rise despite the targeted crime on people of colour, cultural appropriation and the legacy of racism. All these factors make interracial relationships very complex – and unique to navigate.

According to a study by Gallup, 94% of US adults approve of marriage between Black people and White people. Ten years ago this number stood at 87%. And back in 1958 a mere 4% of people approved.

On The Honest Truth, Benito Vergotine spoke with the Founder of the Relationship Architect Coaching and Consulting, Shelley Lewin, about the ways interracial relationships can work.

LISTEN to the entire conversation between Benito and Shelley on The Honest Truth:

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What are the struggles of interracial relationships?

Before dating a person from a different culture or religion, you will to show a keen interest in learning your date’s culture advises Shelley. She adds that if you are entirely clueless, you might get rejected on your first date.

• Seek to understand their worldview
• Acknowledge the differences and stay humble
• Learn why certain rituals, customs and interactions are important to them
• Believe in the power of love

How do we deal with those differences?

Shelley says that it is important to remember that you do not need to be a ‘homogenous’ couple in order to have a happy relationship. Even non-interracial relationships have differences and struggles. Being compatible does not mean not having any differences says Shelley. She adds that as long as these difference do not bring disharmony to you or the relationship, it can be worked through.

• Ask if you are willing to change or adapt to this difference. Can you find a middleground?
• Communicate clearly with each other
• Employ patience, conversation, a willingness to understand and then even more patience

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What to do when people push back?

While interracial is becoming common these days, there are still people who will act and react negatively to it. Verbal attacks from strangers to meddling parents can quickly make a relationship go south. To combat this, the couple needs to take control of the relationship advises Shelley. They need to be the chiefs of the relationship and decide its course.

• Ask yourselves ‘what is healthy for us?’
• Realise that your strength lies in being together, your unity

What if those difficulties don’t go away?

Shelley says plainly, if you can’t thrive (in a relationship) – it’s time to leave. If you need to adopt an edited or smaller version of yourself in order for the relationship to work, it will not work, says Shelley.

• Do you feel like you belong or are accepted? Can you express your authentic self?
• An ideal partnership sees all parties thriving

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Shelley tells Benito that the purpose of a healthy relationship is to: challenge, encourage and inspire people to become the best version of themselves.

In one final piece of advice, Shelley says you should feel proud of your relationship. This gives off a positive impression for others.

• Being proud positively affects your mental and emotional strength
• It assists in fighting for the relationship during difficulty
• Be proud of breaking through societal stereotypes

What better way to show (and share) your love with the world that through your relationship?