While some of us seem to be born with a (sometimes irritating) sunnier disposition,  psychologically speaking, happiness is not based on circumstance. It’s actually something you learn. That’s right. Happiness is not something that happens to you — it’s a skill that requires just as much training and practice as any other skill. But this also means that those thought patterns you might know all too well of, “I’ll be happy when…” are not actually real.

We tell ourselves, “I’ll be satisfied when I make X amount of money,” or “I’ll be happy once I move to that new city,” or even the all-too-common, “I’m just waiting for Friday (or 5 o’clock) to enjoy my life.” As easy as that is to promise yourself that you’d be happy if only… it’s just not true. Happiness comes from training your brain to see the positive in any situation, so if you’re not happy right now, you’re not going to be happy whenever you get what you’ve been waiting for.

1.      Get Happy! Lessons in Lasting Happiness by Anthony Gunn. Psychologist Anthony Gunn brings together quotes and tips for a simple, cheery, and effective guide to happiness. Each page is a comprehensive tip for something you can do in your own life, rather than narrative or personal story, so it’s perfect to pick up here and there for powerful reminders and specific tips on how exactly to enjoy life. Read if you want to work on a new, easy tip every day for measurable steps to happiness.

2.      The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. This genius little guide uses a much different approach than most other self-help books — rather than positivity, Mark Manson argues that the secret to happiness is you know, not giving a f*ck. It has parts of laugh-out-loud humor and scientific backing. The book is a genuine and powerful lesson in forgetting about turning lemons into lemonade, and instead just learn to stomach the lemons. Read if you consider yourself a realist, or prefer some humor with your self-help.

3.      The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Another personal narrative, “The Happiness Project” follows Rubin’s year-long attempt to discover what leads to true contentment. However, it’s not your typical journey to awakening. It’s actually a one-stop shop for cutting edge science, classical philosophy, and comprehensive ways to apply to your life. Read if you’re just getting interested in positive psychology or want a little taste of everything.

4.      Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life… And Maybe The World by William H. McRaven  Many books on happiness can be a little fluffy, but this is not one of them. Admiral William H. McRaven doesn’t sugar-coat a word in this wisdom-loaded book, inspired by principles he learned in Navy Seal training that changed his life. Filled with personal anecdotes and real-world tips, the book explains how much the little things can make a difference. Read if you need helping finding purpose and contentment in even in the darkest or toughest moments.

5.      The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams. I like to think of this book as the source straight from the horse’s mouth. If you’re looking for happiness, who better to look to than His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu? Two of the world’s greatest peace leaders have survived decades of oppression and exile, but came out as some of the most enlightened, joyful people in the world. This book consists of a conversation between the two that took place in the Dalai Lama’s home in India, discussing the question of: how do we find joy in the face of life’s inevitable suffering? Just as profound, powerful, and magnificent as you’d expect, the conversation is filled with experiences, spiritual practices, and wisdom that transcends geography and time. Read if you’re struggling with suffering or grief.