5 Texts to Send Instead of Ghosting Them

What is ghosting?

“The most disrespectful way of ending any kind of relationship because you lack the courage to face your choices head-on. Ghosting refers to immediately cutting all communication with a potential love interest without any explanation.” – Mienke van Rooyen.

Ghosting can be harmful because “it can make people feel rejected or unworthy,” relationship expert Nicole Moore says. She adds that a when a “ghoster cuts off communication or contact without warning” it can trigger feelings of abandonment for the person being ghosted. It is infuriating, remarks Moore, as the ‘ghostee’ is left to wonder why their “love interest cut off contact without” real closure.

Let’s be honest

You are ghosting him or her just to avoid an uncomfortable situation or conversation. But you are just making things more complicated for yourself. Why are you avoiding the truth – when all it takes is honesty – even over text? If you are planning on ghosting him because he is a bad kisser, tell him! If you are planning on ghosting her because you had to pay for the whole meal (in the words of Luther van Dross) tell her about it!

Still planning on not having that conversation… try these text messages instead of ghosting them.

Whether it was a first date or you’ve been with this person for months, ghosting is the easy way out. Ghosting someone after being in a relationship for years is just straight up rude. It’s not something I recommend, especially for you or your ex’s mental health.

I guess it depends on if you want to spare their feelings and just lie… or if you really want to be honest. Either way a goodbye message is the best way to get out of a relationship you do not want to pursue.

ghost

PS: I do not recommend lying to a partner you’ve been with for a while, never a good idea!

Example:

This one is my favourite, because it needs no explanation, especially if you are sending it to someone you just met: “I’m going through some personal stuff right now, and don’t think it’s a good time for me to be dating anyone. I hope you understand.”

If want them to feel like you are doing them a favour, this one is for you. By adding “thought I should let you know” you are making yourself the moral just one in this situation: “Thanks for going out with me recently. I thought a lot about it, and just don’t think we’re compatible. It’s nothing personal, but thought I should let you know.”

A generic one that is sincere yet effective: “I had a great time with you, but honestly don’t think I am feeling this between us and don’t have interest in going out again.”

Never leave a message open for interpretation, that is key! Make it short, honest and to the point: “Honestly, the connection isn’t really there for me. I think we’d both be better if we dated other people.”

Last but not least, here is an option if you’ve made a mistake by revisiting an ex…(we’re not judging): “I have to be honest and let you know that some internal triggers have come up as a result of engaging with you. These have nothing to do with you and everything to do with me, but I’ve decided it’s best for me to sort out those triggers and not pursue dating you further. Thanks so much for your understanding, and I wish you the best.”

A take away thought – pay attention to the decisions you make. Avoid hurting people, karma is not your friend.