Whether you have known each other for three days, three months or three years, all couples can benefit from deep, enriching conversation. Veronica Lopez, the sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan says asking the right questions is the key to building trust.

Rachel Moheban Wachtel, a licensed therapist specialising in couples and marriage counseling, says getting to know someone is not necessarily easy. Espcially when you are trying to build a meaningful relationship. Wachtel says this is partly because everyone has their own, unique needs.

That’s why have this handy dandy list of deep conversation starters.

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When you found Someone New

1. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever visited?
2. What is your main love language?
3. Is your current job what you always dreamed of doing?
4. What’s something (music/food/place/activity) that always cheers you up?
5. What is your earliest memory in life?
6. If a genie granted you three wishes right now, what would you wish for?
7. Who do you think knows you better than anyone else?
8. What are your hobbies? Why are they important to you?
9. What’s your happiest memory?
10. What is your favourite (movie/book) quote

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*Deep* Conversation Starters for The Next Date

1. What about me made you want to meet up (again)?
2. What movie or TV character do you think you’re most like?
3. What do you think about marriage?
4. How would your closest friends describe you?
5. What’s your ideal weekend?
6. Who is the person in your family you’re the most honest with?
7. Tell me about your first kiss.
8. What motivates you career-wise?
9. What’s your favorite (family/friends) tradition?
10. What’s something you want to do in the next year that you’ve never done before?

“Communication skills are just like any other skill,” says relationship and family therapist Esther Boykin. She tells BRIDES that the “more you practice” the better you get at it, “particularly when it comes to conversations where you feel vulnerable”.

Questions to Ask Your Partner

1. If you could go back in time, what advice would you give to your younger self?
2. What’s your favorite memory we’ve shared together?
3. In what ways are you different from the person you were in high school/university?
4. What food or drink reminds you most of home?
5. What’s a very ordinary action that you find really attractive?
6. How do you feel about our communication skills?
7. Are you happy with our sex life?
8. What was your first impression of me?
9. What are some of the highest and lowest points of your life?
10. What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?

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When You Want To Resolve An Argument

1. This issue is important to me too. How can we reach a compromise?
2. Why are we actually having this fight?
3. Did something earlier prompt or build to this?
4. Is there anything that you regret saying to me?
5. Do you feel like we’ve been in this situation before?
6. What is making you feel so hurt right now?
7. I’m hurt because…
8. Is there anything we haven’t addressed or gotten out right now?
9. What’s the most loving, compassionate way we can put this behind us?
10. How are you feeling?