Things are going oh-so-smoothly. Until the dreaded ‘are we dating or what’ question comes around. Relationships ( and its labels) can get messy and those feeling of *love* can make it worse.
Regardless if you’re just dating or in a relationship, advises relationship therapist Audrey Hope, you need to know what you want. Be confident in your decision, she says.
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There’s just dating, then there’s going exclusive
Dating happens before things get more serious. You’re casually spending time to get to know one another.
There’s no denying the spark and attraction you share, or the obvious fun you both have when getting together. But planning a life together is not in the near future.
Dating does not also guarantee exclusivity, which is a level up from just dating. Going ‘exclusive’ means putting in the same amount of time and energy, without thinking about other potential suitors. This is also the time when many people move in together: gotta make sure they are okay with your strict anime schedule.
In summary, you are willing to work towards a future with this person. Going exclusive is typically the stage right before a relationship.
Author of the Confident Introvert, Stephanie Thoma, says dating is the activity, while the relationship is the label. “When you’re dating someone, you’re actively going out into the world to engage in activities like hiking or sharing food, beverage, or conversation, getting to know one another”.
Signs you’re definitely dating:
- You’ve met some of each others’ friends
- You make time to see each other a lot
- Some of your things are at their place
- You have feelings for them, and you think they have feelings too
- Others think you’re dating
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Is exclusive dating different from a relationship?
A relationship is when you commit to a future with this person. There is no me and you, it’s us against everyone else: you also agree to be monogamous.
When you’re in a relationship, you want to spend most of your time with your person. And being in a more serious relationship does not mean there is less romance, if anything, they make your heart skip a beat! It’s like you can see your whole world in their eyes!
A relationship marks emotional growth. Many couples also share in consensual romantic and sexual intimacy. The expectations of the relationship has also been stated, and agreed upon.
Relationship expert, Lisa Concepcion, says relationships are the foundation on which two people learn to live together. “When it shifts into a relationship, there’s a focus on the longer term,” says Concepcion. “There’s a desire to get on the same page about bigger life goals, such as living arrangements, finances, family, career goals, and anything requiring true partnership”.
The next level after this is marriage. It’s like being in your lovey-dovey relationship, but with shared responsibilties, and legal and/or religious obligations.
Here are signs you’re not just dating anymore:
- You call each other boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner
- You’ve met each other’s families
- You have good communication, you face disagreements head-on and healthily
- You feel like you can be your genuine selves with each other
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The end
Dating and being in a relationship is different. They both mark where the couple is in their different phases of knowing each other, or exploring their feelings.
While there are similar traits of both, the biggest difference is in terms of experiences, commitment, communication, accountability and expectations.
