As soon as you get engaged, the questions start. “Have you set a date yet?” “Did you choose a dress?” “How many guests are you inviting?”

Luckily, your wedding is your day and that means you get to define what planning your celebration will look like. Here are five statements you’ll hear again and again — and why they’re myths.

1. It’s a Full-time job: Wedding planning requires thought and effort, but it does not have to be a full-time job, and it doesn’t have to be stressful — even if you didn’t hire a planner. Go into the process with a few ideas, book your vendors early, and make decisions firmly. Don’t second guess, don’t ask for input from every friend and family member, and work ahead of time.
2. DIY is the best budget friendly option: DIY projects can add a wonderful, personal touch to your wedding day. But, before you go overboard on Pinterest thinking that you’ll save oodles of money by DIY-ing everything from cocktail hour decor to cake toppers, remember that doing it yourself requires time, skill, supplies, and back-up supplies. The costs accumulate quickly — and they can sometimes add up to more than it would have been to buy the finished product, so do your homework first before you get out the glue gun.
3. Your wedding must follow the traditional format: We all know what the traditions of a wedding are, but that doesn’t mean that you need to follow it all. Think about the type of celebration that illustrates who you are as a couple. Perhaps it’s a lovely brunch, a casual backyard affair, or a just-the-two-of-you destination elopement.
4. Relationships are ruined by who you do and don’t invite: Unless your budget is unlimited, your guest list likely has a cap. And there are always going to be more people that you want to invite, but simply can’t. If the people in your life are mature enough they should understand – it may need a gentle, honest conversation. On a similar note: the best way to avoid bridesmaid drama? Don’t have them! That is, hands down, the biggest trend being seen at weddings over the past few years. You avoid the hurt feelings, the “she had me in her wedding, so I have to put her in mine” pressure, and, trust me, your friends will still want to celebrate you despite their lack of matching dresses!
5. It’s going to be the best, most memorable day of your entire life. Your wedding day is going to be pretty spectacular and you’ll create a lifetime of memories with your nearest and dearest… but the pressure of needing it to be the best day ever is unrealistic – you have many years ahead of you to top that one day, so get excited about the rest of your life and not just your wedding day!

Remember, your wedding day is about you and your partner being together to honour and celebrate the start of your married life. All that matters is that you’re happy to be marrying your person — and that means throwing the myths we’ve been told out the window and creating your own special day.