Love can be different for each person. However, it does not come without some work in a relationship over time. One of the challenging things about love is that it takes different forms, and can be hard to immediately recognise the type of love you’re feeling.
Here are 9 Signs You Are Falling Romantically in Love with that person on your brain.
How do you know you’re in love?
You got them on the brain 24/7.
Your last interaction plays over in your mind, or you constantly fantasize your next meeting: either way, you can’t stop thinking about them. Dating expert, Maria Sullivan, says it’s not an unhealthy or overwhelming way of thinking, but everything you do, you start to do it with them in mind. A trip to the store for your shampoo, turns into getting them their favourite shampoo too. Perhaps they are the first thing that pops into your head as soon as you wake up!
They make you feel safe.
Being with them feels like nothing bad can happen. The experts at Marriage.com explain that this feeling of safety goes beyond the physical aspect and includes feeling emotionally safe too. You trust your partner to keep your secrets, you are safe to talk about what upsets you, and you show off your true self without hesitation. You feel safe knowing they will not push you into uncomfortable situations or positions.
Things seem to flow easily.
Being with your partner does not seem to need constant hard work: things just come easily. While disagreements and arguments will come up – and are completely healthy – they are not overwhelmingly intense or will end the relationship. Licensed psychologist, Dr. Pauline Peck, says spending time with your partner does not feel like work, you just want to.
They make you feel like a better person.
Being in this relationship makes you feel like a Disney princess floating down the street, rose petals raining from the sky! But for real, being with this person makes you act kinder to others, even tolerate that annoying co-worker, and overall, have a positive outlook on life, explains Dr. Peck. They make you want to improve yourself, and they motivate and support you. An associate professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland, Theresa E. DiDonato, PhD, says that people in love often experience self growth through their relationship.
You want to see things from their side, even when you argue.
People in love are typically more empathetic towards their partner. Their partner’s pain becomes their own, and they sacrifice (anything) for that person. Certified sex coach and sexologist, Michaela d’Artois says when there is mutual love and respect, people are willing to see things from both points of view, instead of fighting for who is ‘right’.
Experiencing some level of emotional dependency.
Emotional dependency can include feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, the fear of rejection or separation anxiety. And while you turn to your partner for regular emotional support, totally depending on them to meet all your emotional needs is unhealthy.
You start planning your future together.
Future dates and adventures start playing through your mind. And it turns into a fantasy marriage or starting a family with them. It soon becomes hard to picture a future – or life – without them in it explains couples therapist David Khalili, MA, LMFT. This shows you are excited about your partner and you feel secure enough to include in your future says Khalili. Neuroscientist at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, Lucy Brown, says our drive to form long-lasting relationships with another person is similar to our drive towards water: and other things we need to survive!
You’re unafraid to put in the work.
Outside of the flutters, cute messages and fun dates: building a relationship is hard work. Can you resolve your arguments amicably? Can you survive going through big life transitions together? d’Artois says these things bring people closer. Team work makes the dream work! Couples therapist, Krista Miller, LMFT, explains that each person should feel good to have the opportunity to put in the work. This goes to the idea that love is based around reward centres in the brain responsible for feeling good, says Miller.
Just a little jealousy creeps in…
Jealousy is another emotion like any other. And just like other emotions, it;s what you do with that jealousy that matters. Dr. Peck explains its a feeling of wanting your partner ‘all to yourself’. You start to feel jealous of them spending a good time with anyone without you. Or feel threatened by an attractive co-worker they talk about. As long as it does not turn into controlling or abusive behaviour, it can be a sign you care explains Dr. Peck. And snooping on your partner’s social media is not okay! Typically speaking, these worries will fade as trust develops.